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Here is a story of this: http://www.darthninjabadger.com/m3CorpKills/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=23665

One of my new kids, who I play World of Tanks with, watches me come home and play Eve Online.  He’s a pre-teen, which means that if it’s not constant action and the tactics are beyond “Run up and shoot him”, then he doesn’t understand.  So, basically during my entire Eve game time, he is over my shoulder asking questions like, “Are you shooting a real player yet?  When are you going to shoot a real player?  Why can’t you shoot a real player now?  You’re the best daddy, you should get a ship and go wipe out everyone in system (yes, he actually did say that).  What’s sec status?  This game is confusing.”  Imagine hearing those words or ones just like them.. over, and over, and over again while your other kids and wife are wanting your opinion on each performer of “America’s Got Talent.”

I had just spent an exciting time flying 17 jumps to a low sec system (and back again) to retrieve a Guardian that I wanted to use for incursions, so watching me play Eve Online hasn’t been an exciting adventure in his eyes.  To be fair, I talk it up pretty good when I can, but lately I haven’t seen much PVP.  So, I get back to my main mission hub and decide “What the heck?  I got lots of isk right now, I should show him how good I am at Eve.”  I look at my ship inventory.. Dramiel?  No, I’m not that familiar with it yet.  Firetail?  I want to, but unless its a destroyer class or less it won’t last long…

Hmm.. there is a Phantasm.. and it is PVP configured.  Haven’t flown one in solo combat before..  sure, why not!  I do a quick check of the systems, and it’s all fit and ready to go.  So I undock and my child is watching me intently.. finally going to see what a battle in Eve in like.  I tell him that he needs to be quiet if I get into a fight and I jump into low-sec.  He raises questions about high-sec, police, low-sec and after explaining each one.. he merely says, “That’s confusing.”

I jump into the first low-sec system and as it’s a Wednesday night, the gates are pretty safe, and I get through the first system no problem.  The second system is the same, with two reds, but no ships on D-Scan.  Again, I keep hearing and answering various questions, my attention split between the child at my side, my wife and her TV program, and Eve Online.   However, when I do a quick D-scan of my third system.. paydirt.  I see a Raven and a Catalyst on D-scan.. and wrecks.. and only two belts in scan range.  Bonus is that we are Gurista space, so they are most likely tanked Kinetic.  I warp to the first belt, and bam!  A Raven shooting belt rats.  I lock him up and start firing..

This is the point where all my preperation fails me.  I start hammering the Raven badly and quickly have him down to 80% shields.  The Raven pilot acts smartly, and gets his Medium Hammerheads on me, and I have my three light drones go after them.. but I am initially tanking them pretty well..

Until I run out of cap almost a minute into the fight.  I see my invulns shut down right and left, my point goes down, my lasers stop firing.  Here I am orbiting a battleship, and my two small vamps are doing nothing to help my zero cap.  I alternate between firing my laser, running my invulns, and my disruptor in a furious battle of “OCHIT!”.  Even though I am trying to manage the best I can, I watch helplessly as his cruise missiles and drones chew through my shields, not even having enough cap to warp off.  I am already hurting when his buddies showed up in two Falcons and a Bhaalgorn.  I go pop, put a “GF” in local because.. well, they did a good job, whereas I’m just a loser.

Course, my kid next to me is in shock that I lost and as a good son does, he makes up all sorts of excuses why I failed (which, to anyone playing Eve, is pretty obvious).  I limp home, my head low.. but not too low since I am a firm believer in the axiom: “Don’t fly what you can’t afford to lose”.  He loses interest quickly and decides to bother his sisters…

… mission accomplished.

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