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Watching My Team Fail Even Before The First Shot

Watching My Team Fail Even Before The First Shot.

It happens time after time after time after time on the NA East server.  Two scenarios that, for the last couple months, play over and over again.

Scenario One: The Clueless

On each battlemap there are usually three way to confront the enemy.  It’s easy enough to label them as Right, Left, and Middle.  For the past year, the prevailing wisdom has been to put a light token force in the middle, a small defensive force on one side, and the rest of your tank force pushing on the other side.  It’s a good plan, everyone gets it, and there is a reasonably good chance you could win if you don’t have a bunch of bad tanks, or idiots, on your side.

However, that piece of wisdom has been brushed aside for what I like to call the “I’m an Idiot” tactic where one or two smart tank drivers are left covering in middle and one side, while the rest of the team runs over to the other side and gets slaughtered trying to go up against a superior defensive position.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t that at least 50% of the random battles I jump in are filled with these morons.  Oh, and don’t dare try to tell them they are wrong.  They pull out the “I’m 13 and a Douche” playbook and start “insulting” your mom with phrases that would make a 3rd grader wonder why the person talking wasn’t aborted as a service to air breathers everywhere.

Scenario Two: The Cowardly

I am one of the few who like to play arties, and I will have to say that I am pretty decent at it.  Now, that being said, I also play TDs, Mediums, and Heavies on a fairly regular basis as well and I have played enough to be able to hand draw all the overhead maps in the game.  And I am a terrible drawer.

The latest problem I am seeing is the advent of the “Cowardly Player” syndrome.  Maybe since I am an avid Eve Online player, the fear of monetary loss to get my tank repair is lost to me, or maybe its because I understand that sometimes to win, you gotta make the sacrifice, but I am seeing now a large portion of players.. again from the last couple months, who just camp the base, or snuggle up right next to me in some clueless belief that they are “protecting me”.

First off, from now on, if I see players doing camping the base or sitting next to me “protecting me”, I am going to call you out on it, not only in game… but also here on my blog.  Yes, it has gotten that bad.

Second, to those that camp or ahem “protect arty”, you are wrong.  Don’t care what your mommy or daddy told you about you being special.  If they told you that, then they were special too.  You know, the kind of special that has to wear bicycle helmets all the time, isn’t allowed to have scissors, and gets on a special, short yellow bus just for you.  Yeah, you are that kind of special.

But there is hope for you.. you can actually stop being special.  You can actually understand that by risking your tank and getting out into the battle, you have a real opportunity to win.  You might be able to actually turn the tide of the battle.  I’ve done it.  From time to time, there are openings that you can take advantage of and swing the battle in your favor.  But you can’t do that if you are camping the base, or “protecting arty”

And to clear up the “protecting arty” garbage.  You are NOT protecting me if you are next to me.  I have to turn, and turn often when finding new targets and that breaks my camo.  So, if they see you, they SEE ME.  And if they see me, I become the Priority Target.  If they see me.. remember IF THEY SEE ME then you have failed in protecting me.  It is far, FAR better for you to be out more in front, shooting any oncoming enemy long before they have even a chance to get close.